Jason - From the Mouth of Babes...

4/19/2013

"From the mouth of babes...".  I am consistently amazed by the maturity that Alexis shows in her thought pattern and in the things she says.  Her spirit is truly advanced and the wisdom she comes at me with just blows me away.  Case in point, today...I am talking to her about my upcoming 'leave of absence' and telling her how much I wish I could go back and change my decisions, when she stops me mid-sentence and says "Dad, you know that focusing on the past doesnt do any good for the future right?  All you can do is focus on the here and now, and plan for the future".  WOW.  What 9 year old says those kinds of things?  She does this kind of thing all the time.  It just amazes me, and I'm so thankful for her.  I know the Lord sent her to us knowing we would be facing a difficult future.  I know she will be such a huge help to Desiree when I have to leave.

I hope my attorney is having me do the right thing here.  He's been wrong about a few things so far, and that gives me pause (although, I am trusting fully in the Lord anyway, so regardless of him, I know I will be ok).  He said the good behavior credit from the bureau of prisons is 20%.  It is not.  It is 13%, or 47 days/year specifically.  That makes a huge difference!  20% would be 73 days per year (36.5 days x 2) off of your sentence for good behavior.  Thats a difference of 26 days per year.  For a 5 year sentence, thats 130 days, or over 4 months difference! 

I have to fly up in 10 days and meet with the US attorney and cooperate.  I am very hopeful that the meeting will go well.  I need the cooperation credit they are offering.  That is how my sentence gets into the 6 years or less range. 

I still cant believe I will be gone for so long.  I know that I can do the time, and I know Desiree can as well, but it is heartbreaking.  Truly, what the scriptures say about Satan is true.  He leads us by a flaxen cord, until we are in chains.  In my case, it is literal.  I just want to be able to commit my life to the Lord and show him I have learned my lesson.  Between now and sentencing, I guess the way I show that is by preparing my family as best I can for this transition, then when I go in, being dedicated to developing a close relationship to Him.  I have done it before, so I know I can do it again.

The attorney said we will lose the house.  Thats a hard pill to swallow.  Hopefully it wont happen so soon.  I'm tired, and have to sleep.  Will write more later.